Pre- Birthday Day.

hmmmm.. yes. its my pre-birthday day. and i have the whole day to do whatever i want. "how is this different from any other day of yours?" your might ask...well it just is! because tomorrow is my birthday. and im turning 24. to all you oldies out there, i know it sounds ridiculously young. but to my 23 year and 364 day old brain, it sounds old! bizarre to see the day i can say im 24.

birthdays have always been hard for me. there are expectations that i wish so badly i didn't have. should i plan, my party, should i not, should i ask a friend to plan the party, should i just not have a party, should i just do something small, something big, sometime quaint, something adventurous. will people remember it's my day? will people care it's my day? expectations. i fight them, but the birthday expectations seem to dive deeper and deeper, not matter how much i try to grab them by the root.

so i am choosing today. my pre-birthday day. to do things i love. to celebrate me. i began with a little catch up on the shows i love online. followed by a youtube sesh with my brother that i love. followed by painting my nails. something i, yes, love to do :) *sigh* and now what?

warm tunes to warm my heart is plugging away on my computer (my most up-to-date favorites playlist) and i am trying to think of how i want to fill this day with goodness, life, and love. i have great anticipation for a birthday dinner tonight, but since that's 4 hours away, what shall i do? paint? read? write? i feel as though the world is m oyster. and for the first time, anxiety and nerves have left at the thought of celebrating me...after all...i think i'm pretty great! :)