realization.

i realized today just how much i miss blogging, and painting, and the water. those are at the top of my list atleast. i miss many other things. but these were on my mind today.

water is so inspiring to me. i can look back through journals, and i have poetry all throughout middle school and highschool, that i would write whenever i went somewhere with water. mexico would always conjur up inspiration in me, and i would lay awake deep into the nights writing, dreaming, hoping. i miss doing those things. i have all my painting stuff here, ready for me, but i am just so completely uninspired.

i guess i just really miss being inspired. i love that feeling. i had that feeling a lot when i was unemployed. i guess it was the hope of new things coming, the unsure-ness of it all. i miss it.

and i find myself blogging out of a place of desperate inspiration. when i blogged in college, there was a desperate plea deep inside to know more of me, and the world, and to discover new things...so i blogged.

the bummer about being unemployed was the lack of funds. and now that the funds are flowing, there seems to be a lack of time and brain space. you never can win i guess.

how do i balance these things? im still unsure. any advice? i welcome it. i wish to find the balance again. i wish to find inspiration again, so that my blogs are less rambling, and more dreaming, so that my paints get used, and that my heart feels warm and full once again.


....not that my heart isn't warm or full, it is. just a different sort of warm and full :)

and i shall now leave you with something that inspires me. a lovely blog that i follow, and i save all these pics, because they make my heart flutter at their sheer amazingness...my newest fav.

i know right?! as if any of you are shocked :)