Ringin in the new year.

let's be honest. my new years eve was not note worthy in any way! it was ironic, and awkward, and just absolutely brutal. i thought this picture did it justice.
my new years resolution among others is to actually have a good new years eve next year.

new camera. new pics. new new new.

i keep not blogging. i don't like it. i have no excuses...except that life got busy...like i said...not an excuse not to blog. so im doing it. here comes the fun adventures of auntie julia and the crazy neph's...

*all pics compliments of my new camera!*

one really fun thing we did....we took these crayons.



and turned them into these crayons!

how cool are they?! karyn and i were pretty proud of ourselves.... we kind of took over the project while the boys were sleeping..this is them when they woke up.

jamey was not in the mood to take pics so me and jack went at it. this is his current favorite picture face. :)


i told him to do a different face, and this is what i got.


:) i wrangled him in for a good pic...

and somehow grabbed jamey and got a good pic out of the deal too....miracle!

hello time!

"wow. i can't believe it's 2010." probably one of the most cliche statements made these days, now that i think about it, but i don't care:) im still shocked. never thought i'd make it past....2004, much less diving full fledged into the double digits.

life has been quite lively and crazy as of late. with family, holidays, and the newness of life, i keep wanting to run and blog, and lose the thought the next second. but as i sit here letting my nails dry (cathartic for me) i'm beginning to think of everything that really happened in the last month.

i remember feeling so shocked at how used to being alone i had become. and then a sweet family of four took over the basement, and life was lively. but i didn't realize the life that was missing until i got to play "dangerous sort of spikey dinosaurs" with the imagination of a 4 and 2 year old, followed by a tea party. i feel like i have gotten back in touch with a life inside of me, that i have not seen in quite some time...for sure not since before september. and i'm thankful. to think of the house being empty once again, it makes me sad, and although i have new distractions for 2010, i am still sad that the basement will be put to rest for some time. i look forward to it livening up in june/july...hurry! :)
and as my glee volume 2 soundtrack plays, i am reminded of my thankfulness for the invention of the dvd followed by putting tv shows on dvd. glee sans commercials is just glorious. and getting the skeptical hooked is just as fantastic :) i'd also like april 13 to hurry.

but i am looking forward to what shall fill my time between now, april 13, and then june/july. for once i feel hopeful about the year. no evidence would be found from my new years eve experience. my year better not end up anywhere near what my nye ended up looking like. and surely. it won't. afterall. it can only go up from here right? well... i sure hope so! cheers to a new year. new beginnings, new hopes, new dreams, new opportunities. i am thankful for new-ness.

*pictures are coming. i got a camera for christmas and refuse to slack in the pictures from now on...but my nails are still wet, so i won't be digging my camera out of my purse, or the cord from the pile of christmas stuff, so they will come at a later time*

dream.

i am a dreamer. i always have been. and i love it. i love to dream, i love to spend time thinking of the possibilities. i love to make lists of my dreams. i love the word dream. there are so many possibilities. i remember dreaming as a kid of what my life would be. where i would go. what i would do. i spent most days dreaming. i was in m own world, creating dreams.

but i have discovered a flip side of dreaming. when you muster up the courage to go after a dream and the rug gets pulled out from under you. you are completely blind sided by a giant failure. what do you do now? do you continue to dream? i, for one, and terrified to dream again. i have put them all into a little room, turned off the light, and shut the door. i walk past it every now and again, peer at the dreams, and fear rises up in me. so i quickly walk past. but i don't like myself when im not dreaming. i don't feel fully me. i want to get back to that place where i am free to dream. the land of dreams is where i want to live.

so how do i get back there?

justice.

i have been thinking and talking a lot about justice lately. what does it truly mean, what does that look like in different cultures, what does it look like in my own life. i was talking with a friend about these concepts, and she offered a huge pill. im not sure if i am ready to swallow it, but i want to be. i see it on the counter, and i find myself continually coming back to it, wondering, can i take it, because once taken, there is no going back.

and what is this pill, you are asking?

it is this. the concept that if i fight for and strive for justice in the world, then i must be willing to welcome and accept justice in my own life.

easily said, by no means easily done.

i think to myself, sure, i could deal with justice in my own life. but when i think about that, it means owning whatever it might be that my actions produce. not always easy, and often easily surpassed.

so i continue to look at this pill. and work my way towards swallowing it, because i want to fully say yes i seek justice in this world, and yes i live justice out in my own life as well.

the most wonderful place.

THIS. is the most wonderful place on earth. i found this bathroom in one of my favorite blogs i follow and i fell in love. this is the perfect bathroom. truly. the bathtub, the colors, the layout. i couldn't ask for a better bathroom. i can see myself in it. one day i WILL own this bathroom. but for now, i continue to dream.

hiatus.

ooops. a completely unplanned hiatus.

im not used to all this stimulition, mental and physical. my days usually consist of a lot of me time, and now i am bombarded with lovely fam. quite a change, and quite nice to be honest.

with zoo trips, gingerbread building, and more, i practically forgot this blog existed. never fear internet. my brother likes to remind me often....so here i am. returning from my hiatus.